The Red Mist guide to
Making the Tea.
After all, no garage is complete without loads of tea on tap
1. Place some water in the kettle
2. Empty the kettle, as the fresh water was added to rank water
3. Boil the kettle
4. Boil the kettle again, as you left the water go cold
5. Scald the tea pot
6. Empty the tea pot, as the apprentice never did it yesterday
7. Scald the pot again
8. Add the water
9. Open the press to discover that there is only half a mouldy teabag
left
10. Send the apprentice down to the shop to get the teabags
11. 10 minutes later, get in the tow truck to collect the apprentice. He
took the car that was due a timing belt change, and the belt snapped!
12. Come back to the garage, forgetting to get the teabags.
13. Send the lazy fella down to the shops for teabags
14. Half an hour later, he returns with the tea bags
15. Start to boil more water as the last lot has gone cold
16. Succeed in getting boiling water and teabags into the tea pot
17. While the tea is drawing, go and look for some cups
18. Discover that all the cups are holding nuts, bolts, engine oil and
other unmentionables.
19. Spend 10 minutes ranting and raving.
20. Spend 15 minutes trying to clean the cups.
21. Pour the tea
22. Spit the tea out. It’s cold and horrid. After all, it’s being drawing
for 25 minutes, and is so strong it tastes like tar!
23. Boil the kettle again (for the fourth time)
24. After 5 minutes, succeed in getting tea into the cups (after scalding
the pot and yourself, adding the tea bags and pouring it into almost clean
cups)
25. NO MILK, the lazy fella never got it in the shop!
26. As this stage, throw the cup of tea at the apprentice and the lazy
fella in disgust.
27. The apprentice walk out, threatening to sue for assault. The lazy
fella sits there, too lazy to move.
28. Spend the rest of the day on the phone trying to sort out the
customers car after the apprentice breaking the timing belt.
29. Make an appointment with the doctor for treatment for stress.
30. Give up tea. It’s easier.
And still, no tea at the end of it!