The Red Mist Guide to
Swearing at Work
I got this from the Human Resources Department at work. So, I
thought that I should share it with the rest of the World
RE: SWEARING AT WORK
It has been brought to management's attention that some
individuals throughout the company have been using foul language
during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due
to complaints received from some employees who may be easily
offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to
accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative phrases have been
provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can
continue in an effective manner.
1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training. INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter. INSTEAD OF: She's a
ball-busting b__ch.
3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: And when the
f___ do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible. INSTEAD OF: No
f___ing way.
5) TRY SAYING: Really? INSTEAD OF: Don't talk c__k
6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with... INSTEAD OF: Tell
someone who gives a sh__.
7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project. INSTEAD OF: It's
not my f____ing problem.
8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting. INSTEAD OF: What the f___?
9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented. INSTEAD OF:
This sh__ won't work.
10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that. INSTEAD OF: Why the
f___ing h _ll didn't you tell me sooner?
11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues. INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his a__.
12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir? INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.
13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it? INSTEAD OF: Kiss my
a__.
14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment. INSTEAD OF:
F___ it, I'm on salary.
15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand. INSTEAD OF: Shove
it up your a__.
16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge. INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.
17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that? INSTEAD OF: Who
the h___ died and made you boss?
18 ) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive. INSTEAD OF: He's a
pr_ck.
Thank You,
Human Resources
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